| Thursday, December 03, 2009 |
| 12:00 AM | Everybody Loves Raymond
Episode: Fascinatin' Debra
After she is interviewed for a book about the family, Debra (Patricia Heaton) decides she's boring compared to her husband's family. Super Bowl XXXI MVP Desmond Howard stars as himself |
| 12:30 AM | Paid Program |
| 01:00 AM | Family Guy
Episode: Death Lives
Death smites Peter with a bolt of lightning when he abandons Lois on their anniversary to play golf with his buddies |
| 01:30 AM | Seinfeld
Episode: The Pony Remark
Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld) feels responsible for the death of an elderly woman (Rozsika Halmos) he upset the day before. With Liz Sheridan |
| 02:00 AM | Judge Jeanine Pirro
A woman sues her ex-boyfriend for harassment and slander |
| 03:00 AM | That '70s Show
Episode: An Eric Forman Christmas
When Eric directs the Christmas pageant, he casts all of his friends over Pastor Dave's objections; Red loses sleep over Bob's light display |
| 03:30 AM | The Bernie Mac Show
Episode: It's Mac-ademic
Bernie volunteers as a teacher's helper to assess the teaching methods used at Bryana's school; Wanda is at wits' end trying to reason with Vanessa and Jordan |
| 04:00 AM | The Bernie Mac Show
Episode: Back in the Day
After heartburn sends Bernie to the emergency room, he resolves to stave off old age by acting young |
| 04:30 AM | King of the Hill
Episode: Grand Theft Arlen
Hank cannot stop playing a video game about propane; Bobby trains for the presidential fitness test |
| 05:00 AM | Shepherd's Chapel |
| 06:00 AM | Malcolm in the Middle
Episode: Funeral
Exasperated with nonstop complaints, Lois (Jane Kaczmarek) throws in the towel, which leads to the rapid breakdown of family life. With Frankie Muniz |
| 06:30 AM | Paid Program |
| 07:00 AM | Eyewitness News This Morning on Fox |
| 08:00 AM | Busy World of Richard Scarry
Episode: Peter's Visit; The First Skis Ever; Stage Fright
Sally has an imaginary friend; a little brother invents skis; Denis has to give a speech |
| 08:30 AM | The Insider
Entertainment news and features |
| 09:00 AM | Paid Program |
| 09:30 AM | Paid Program |
| 10:00 AM | Judge Jeanine Pirro
A woman sues her abusive ex-boyfriend for medical bills and emotional distress |
| 11:00 AM | The People's Court
Judge Marilyn Milian adjudicates cases for people who have filed grievances in small-claims court |
| 12:00 PM | Judge Mathis
A woman sues her son's alleged father for emotional distress and petitions the court for a DNA test |
| 1:00 PM | Family Feud
Teams compete to match answers of nationwide surveys |
| 1:30 PM | Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader?
Adults try to answer questions from elementary-school textbooks |
| 2:00 PM | Friends
Episode: The One Where the Stripper Cries
Joey appears as a celebrity contestant on ``$100,000 Pyramid''; Monica and Rachel hire an ungainly stripper (Danny DeVito) for Phoebe's bachelorette party |
| 2:30 PM | Friends
Episode: The One Where They're Up All Night
During their fist night together, Rachel and Tag (Jennifer Aniston, guest star Eddie Cahill) realize they forgot to ship out an important package at the office |
| 3:00 PM | Maury |
| 4:00 PM | Jerry Springer
A man cheats on his fiancee of 26 years; a woman cheats on her younger boyfriend with their roommate; a man finds out he slept with a transsexual |
| 5:00 PM | The Steve Wilkos Show
A woman accuses a man of drugging, raping and impregnating her |
| 6:00 PM | Deal or No Deal
Contestants get a chance to win money |
| 6:30 PM | Deal or No Deal
A nurse and mother of four hopes to win money to open her own nursing home |
| 7:00 PM | Two and a Half Men
Episode: My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking; Jake sees a therapist (guest star Jane Lynch) |
| 7:30 PM | Two and a Half Men
Episode: Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Charlie must choose between his girlfriend and his housekeeper; Alan looks to sell Kandi's condo, but sex keeps getting in the way |
| 8:00 PM | Bones
Episode: The Gamer in the Grease
The remains of a competitive gamer are found in a grease truck; Sweets, Hodgins and Jeffersonian intern Colin camp out for tickets to a movie premiere |
| 9:00 PM | Fringe
Episode: Snakehead
When a cargo ship runs aground, the shoreline is littered with bodies, each hosting a large squidlike creature |
| 10:00 PM | Eyewitness News at 10 |
| 11:00 PM | Family Guy
Episode: Peter's Got Woods
Brian's new relationship with Meg's teacher puts a strain on his friendship with Peter, so Peter finds a new friend, James Woods |
| 11:30 PM | The Simpsons |
